In the shadows of parenthood lie stories that rarely see the light of day. During my market research with hundreds of women about their pregnancy journeys, three difficult themes emerged time and again:
- The unfulfilled desire to have children
- Miscarriage
- Antenatal depression
Although I didn’t speak directly with men, I felt their presence and emotions through the one-way mirror. These topics often remain unspoken, but it is time to break the taboo.
The Unfulfilled Desire to Have Children: The Invisible Longing
The desire for a child is deeply rooted, but for some, this remains an unfulfilled dream. In the Netherlands, 1 in 6 couples face reduced fertility. In Belgium, this figure is similarly high. These statistics represent not just medical facts, but emotional journeys full of hope, disappointment, and resilience.
An unfulfilled desire for children is a silent journey that you must travel without a map or compass, and with the fear of losing your traveling companion.
Women share stories about medical trajectories, hormonal treatments, and the emotional toll this takes. Many Dutch couples even travel across the border to see their dream of having a child come true. Men also experience this process intensely, although their feelings are often less visible.
2. Miscarriage: Loss Without Ritual
Miscarriage affects an estimated 20% of all pregnancies in the Netherlands and Belgium. Despite this prevalence, the subject remains surrounded by silence and stigma.
A miscarriage is a loss that often remains without ritual or recognition.
Women speak of the deep grief and loneliness they feel after a miscarriage. Men mourn too, but their pain is often overlooked, which can leave them feeling isolated.
3. Antenatal Depression: The Shadow on the Pink Cloud
Approximately 13% of pregnant women in the Netherlands and Belgium experience antenatal depression. This phenomenon often goes unmentioned, partly due to the prevailing ideal of the ‘pink cloud’ (the blissful pregnancy).
Antenatal depression is a dark shadow that eclipses the joy of expected motherhood.
Women describe feelings of guilt, anxiety, and isolation. Men often stand powerlessly on the sidelines, searching for ways to offer support.
These personal pregnancy experiences also have a significant impact on the workplace. Employees dealing with an unfulfilled desire for children, a miscarriage, or antenatal depression may face decreased concentration, increased stress, and emotional burden. This can lead to reduced productivity and higher absenteeism. Conversely, the high incidence means that open dialogue in the workplace offers opportunities.
Is your organization also finding it difficult to support the pregnancy journey and motherhood? Give them a boost and organize a keynote about the impact of taboos!
Sources: Amsterdam UMC, Early miscarriage, version 2, Publication date: 4-12-2024. NOS Nieuwsuur: To Belgium for a baby: thousands of Dutch people do it, 27-04-2023. Trimbos Institute, WHERE IS THE PINK CLOUD?, 10-2021.
